My son Brian left for Oklahoma today, approximately 3 hours after we arrived home from Vegas.
I love him and miss him already. I know he has to do what he has to do...but he is my only child. I raised him alone for most of his childhood. We are very close.
I said all the mom-type things..be good, be polite to strangers, wear clean underwear at all times and don't fuck off all the money you will make before you pay me back what I have loaned you for this friggin move to parts unknown.
As Dave said in the comments section of another post...the irony of a Californian moving to Oklahoma in order to survive is rich indeed during this depression.
Our final hug was awesome, I can still feel his arms around me..I didn't think he was ever going to let me go. His tall, skinny frame was holding me so tight, I could barely breathe. He kissed the top of my head which is what he always does and told me he loved me more than anything. I told him the same.
I can't stop crying. I am a blubbering mess. I can't pick him up if he does something stupid in OK...its five or six fucking states away!
Guess I have to trust he has grown up enough to hold it together. It's that or I go batshit insane with worry. They were supposed to leave tomorrow..I wasn't ready for tonight being the last night to look at his beautiful face with the deep laugh and the fantastic smile.
Empty Nest Syndrome is a painful feeling..take it from me...a hard-ass old bitch that is sobbing softly as I type out this post.
The kittehs are all gathered tightly around me...do they know how much I am hurting right now?
I hope Christmas comes and goes quickly this year..I want it over now.
I want Brian home here in Cali where he belongs, spending his Sundays watching sports with me and laughing his beautiful laugh at my stupid posts or dumb jokes.Now, it's him and his cat Frankie making their way into the world without the safety net known as Mom to catch them.
